


A Miraculous Group Chat

by Parasyte_Ben



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bisexual Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Bisexual Alya Césaire, Bisexual Chloé Bourgeois, Bisexual Kagami Tsurugi, Chatting & Messaging, Chloé Bourgeois Knows, Chloé Bourgeois Redemption, Crack, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Identity Reveal, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lila Rossi Bashing, Lila Rossi Lies, Lila anon not welcome, Manipulative Lila Rossi, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Has Anxiety, Multi, Pansexual Luka Couffaine, Pansexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Polyamory, they're like 16 in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:39:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27500113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parasyte_Ben/pseuds/Parasyte_Ben
Summary: [Ladybug] created a Group Chat[Ladybug] added [Rena Rouge][Ladybug] added [Chat Noir][Ladybug] added [Honey Bee][Ladybug] added [Carapace][Ladybug] changed Group Chat's name to More Expresso Less DepressoChat Noir: m'lady, what. The. FUCK. It's 3 AM[Ladybug] changed [Chat Noir]'s name to [Punz With Bunz][Ladybug] changed [Rena Rouge]'s name to [Furry][Ladybug] changed [Honey Bee]'s name to [Kinkshamer][Ladybug] changed [Carapace]'s name to [Irrelevant]
Relationships: Adrien Agreste & Chloé Bourgeois & Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Nino Lahiffe, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Chloé Bourgeois, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Kagami Tsurugi, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Luka Couffaine, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Chloé Bourgeois & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Chloé Bourgeois/Kagami Tsurugi, Chloé Bourgeois/Luka Couffaine, Chloé Bourgeois/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Luka Couffaine/Kagami Tsurugi, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Alix Kubdel, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Alix Kubdel & Lê Chiến Kim, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Alix Kubdel & Nino Lahiffe & Lê Chiến Kim, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Lê Chiến Kim, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Max Kanté, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi, Max Kanté & Alix Kubdel & Lê Chiến Kim, Max Kanté & Lê Chiến Kim, Max Kanté/Lê Chiến Kim
Comments: 63
Kudos: 448





	1. Late Night Akumas

**[Ladybug] created a Group Chat**

**[Ladybug] added [Rena Rouge]**

**[Ladybug] added [Chat Noir]**

**[Ladybug] added [Honey Bee]**

**[Ladybug] added [Carapace]** ****

**[Ladybug] changed Group Chat's name to More Expresso Less Depresso**

**Chat Noir:** m'lady, what. The. FUCK. It's 3 AM

**[Ladybug] changed [Chat Noir]'s name to [Punz With Bunz]**

**[Ladybug] changed [Rena Rouge]'s name to [Furry]**

**[Ladybug] changed [Honey Bee]'s name to [Kinkshamer]**

**[Ladybug] changed [Carapace]'s name to [Irrelevant]**

**Ladybug:** Akuma at the Eiffel Tower, come. This chat is for Akumas ONLY.

 **Kinkshamer:** Then why the nicknames?

 **Ladybug:** I'm not ashamed to admit Chat has a nice ass. We all know Rena is a closet furry. Honey, you've kinkshamed all of them. Carapace is just our meat shield but that'd feel mean to call him.

 **Furry:** **L** Get roasted honey

 **Punz With Bunz:** I'm flattered you think I have a nice ass m'lady

 **Ladybug:** _tips fedora_ M'lady

 **Irrelevant:** ouch...

 **Ladybug:** Oh shit, Akuma has a sword I just got stabbed, rip

 **Kinkshamer:** I just got here and wtf LB

 **Kinkshamer:** _[LB-Asking-Akuma-If-They-Want-Their-Sword-Back-Or-If-She-Can-Keep-It.mp4]_

 **Punz With Bunz:** Ladybug: You want this sword back orrr? Akuma: No, you can keep! Akuma: Wait no I'll need that back Ladybug: NO TAKE BACKS!

 **Furry:** Are we gonna ignore the fact she got STABBED!

 **Ladybug:** This used to happen every other week when Chat couldn't escape his dad lmao

 **Ladybug:** I'll be fine after we use the miraculous cure at the end of the battle, probably

 **Irrelevant:** probably?

 **Ladybug:** uhhh.......I have to fight the Akuma!

 **Furry** **:** you were STABBED, the miraculous cure hasn't been used yet! You are not fighting a Akuma, so explain!

 **Ladybug:** uhhhhh...I suppose you were gonna find out eventually.

 **Ladybug:** The miraculous cure doesn't work on me, kinda

 **Furry:** Kinda?

 **Ladybug:** Like it heals injuries like extremely life threatening or like reduces a injury. Like if I got stabbed in the heart instead of a non lethal stab to the stomach it would heal that. Honey and Chat defeated the Akuma, that's my cue

***

**Punz With Bunz:** Ladybug

 **Ladybug:** You said my name..are you okay Chat?

 **Punz With Bunz:** Am I okay? I should be asking you that! You got stabbed and the cure doesn't work on you

 **Ladybug:** look...I haven't slept in 72 hours, I finally have the chance to sleep, gn Chat, and chat

 **Furry:** your sleeping habits seem like my friend's sleeping habits, anyways goodnight

 **Kinkshamer:** This conversation isn't over

 **Irrelevant:** Goodnight, and be is right 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari is sad, sleep deprived, and insecure
> 
> identity reveal and hurt/comfort ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooooo I guess this has plot now????

**Friday(3:45 A.M)**

**Punz with Bunz:** I'm at a dilemma

**Ladybug:** Why are you up?

**Punz** **with Bunz:** why are YOU up?

**Ladybug:** Touche. What's wrong

**Punz with Bunz:** my civilian!me friend and frankly my superhero!me friend texted civilian!me 'I'm all to tired to overthink this so, *my name* I like you and I've had a crush on you for well years, I know you like someone else and if what you say about them is true well they sound decent, if you ever confess I hope the best for you. It's been years and I think it's time I've moved on from you so consider this me letting go, I hope this stupid crush doesn't make our friendship awkward for you!' And like do tf do I respond to that!?

**Ladybug:** holy shit

**The OGs**

**Bugaboo:** Adrien?

**Kitty:** Marinette?

**[Ladybug] has gone OFFLINE**

*******

**The fantastic 4 + Chloé**

**Ladyblogger:** where is Marinette, she's never THIS late

**Ninga Turtle:** maybe dudette overslept longer than usual?

**My Father Will Hear About This:** Adrikins, do you have any idea where Dupain-Cheng is.

**Sadrien:** no..but I have a idea of why she isn't here, it isn't just my decision to share with the class

**[Cottagecore? I wish] has come ONLINE**

**Cottagecore? I wish:** Adrien, thanks but no. I overslept a bit more than usual lmao

*******

**TF is Adrienette**

**Adrien:** We need to talk

**Mari:** I know.

**Adrien:** Bugaboo you have to understand I meant what I said when I said I'd love the girl in and out of the mask

**Mari:** _[Bugaboo.jpg]_

**Mari:** Adrien, that's the thing...you love Ladybug

**Adrien:** you're Ladybug

**Mari:** No I'm not, everyone keeps saying that but their wrong! They're always wrong! Ladying bug is perfect, she's resourceful & and quick witted. I'm just Marinette..clumsy, scatter brained, plain old Marinette. Ladybug is what I wish I was...not who I am.

**Adrien:** I get what you me...for me being Chat is like I'm not playing the pawn in my father's gamn..I'm my own person..no longer a porcelain doll to dress up and stare at. It's the opposite for you isn't it?

**Adrien:** and if I'm in love with Ladybug and not you then well your in love with Adrien, not Chat Noir

**Mari:** Adrien, you don't get it. Your half right...I- the charade is up as Ladybug and Marinette...I'm so afraid to let people down, to let myself be vulnerable, to let myself feel I just- I'm not myself as either sides of me, and I'm not really sure who I am. It's hard Adrien, not being able to feel, to force youself to be numb because god forbid the moment you let your guard down and feel for a fucking moment a akuma comes after you, but you know, I can't get akumatized because I were to be we're all screwed! And no Adrien you don't get it, I'm the only one who can fix the damage, I'm the only one one who can capture the akuma and purify it, I'm the only one who can bring back the dead. I've seen so many people Adrien, I've watched the people I care about be slaughtered by akumas I've watched you DIE for me Adrien...it fucking hurts...

**Adrien:** your right, I don't get it, and I never will, because I'm not you. I'm sorry I've hurt you but you have to know I won't just stop protecting you purrincess, especially because the miraculous cure doesn't work on you.

**Mari:** I know Chaton it's just,to much sometimes because what if one day I'm not good enough and your don't come back to me? What if hawkmoth is gone and you'll realize how useless I've been in defeating akumas? How long before you see me as I see myself?

**Adrien:** That'll never happen Mari, I love you

**Mari:** I love you too Chaton

**Mari:** sooooo, what does this make us?

**Adrien:** we don't have to put a label on it but I'd be honored to be your boyfriend

**Mari:** y'know Alya is gonna kidnap and interrogate us about the sudden relationship

**Adrien:** I take that as a yes to dating

**Mari:** Adrien this is serious, how will we explain us suddenly dating, we can't tell them out secret identities

**Adrien:** We can worry later, I want cuddles and you could use a nap.

**Mari:** Kawami knows that's true, I'll prepare a movie and popcorn

**Adrien:** I'll bring blankets!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last one was angsty, have a lollipop, and more Heros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I didn't really expect so many people to read this

**Saturday(4:53)**

**Ladybug:** ...hey guys, do you ever wonder if that hero's of the past had a yoyo, baton, flute, harp, ect

  
***

 **Punz With Bunz:** yes

 **Furry:** No

 **Ladybug:** And if that's the case, why does my yoyo have a purifying function? Surely the miraculous users of the past have had more enemies then Butterfly and Peacock wielders, or were they just so common the miraculous evolved to have one. But if that were true why didn't they forbid use of the two miraculous.

 **Kinkshamer:** LB, you sound like you've been think about this for a long time..are you okay

 **Ladybug:** my name is boring, what should I change it to?

 **Irrelevant:** weren't you the one who said this was for Akumas only?

 **Ladybug:** I knew that rule would be broken with Chat in this chat to fuck it.

 **Punz with Bunz:** m'lady is correct

 **Kinkshamer:** Hate to break up the moment but there's a Akuma at Dupont

 **Ladybug:** there.

***

**[Kinkshamer]'s name has been changed to [Chlorine]**

**Ladybug:** Nice to meet you Chlorine

 **Chlorine:** I- mom?

 **Ladybug:** yes, come to mother Chlorox

 **Chlorine:** Imposter! My mother would never give me psychical affection!

 **Punz with Bunz:** Same, my mom is dead so she literally can't give me psychical affection

 **Punz with Bunz:** well missing but eh.

 **Irrelevant:** fuck. You all need help 

**Furry:** I- why do I try..

***

**Sunday(12:00)**

**Ladybug:** In defense of Hawkmoth

 **Furry:** what drugs did you inhale

 **Ladybug:** moldy croissants

 **Chlorine:** Yum

 **Ladybug:** Yeah, you got that Yummy-Yum

 **Chlorine:** I-

 **Furry:** I hate you all

 **Ladybug:** welcome to the club, we have pop tarts, they're homemade and the secret ingredient is our own self hate

 **Chlorine:** oh and our mommy issues

 **Punz with Bunz:** are? you? guys? okay???

 **Irrelevant:** I'm kinda interested in what LB was gonna say to defend fucking Hawkmoth

 **Furry:** she's admitted to being under the influence of moldy croissants.

 **Punz with Bunz:** that's a drug??

 **Ladybug:** Lmao this is just Chat being confused by us at this point

 **Punz with Bunz:** omfg, I'm a severely sheltered boy, bugaboo you know this!

***

**[Ladybug] created [New Chat]**

**[Ladybug] added [Chat Noir]**

**[Ladybug] added [Rena Rouge]**

**[Ladybug] added [Carapace]**

**[Ladybug] added [Honey Bee]**

**[Ladybug] added [Ryyuko]** ****

**[Ladybug] added [Viperion]**

**[Ladybug] added [Bunnyx]** ****

**[Ladybug] added [Pegasus]**

**[Ladybug] added [Roi Singe]**

**[New chat has been changed to [Crackheads of Paris]**

**[Chat Noir] 's name has been changed to [Leather Kink]**

**[Rena Rouge]'s name has been changed to [Furry In Hiding]**

**[Carapace]'s name name has been changed to [Ninja Turtle]**

**[Honey Bee]'s name has been changed to [Heather Chandler]**

**[Ryuuko]'s name has been Changed to [Pete the Dragon]**

**[Viperion]'s name has been changed to [Chill Vibes]**

**[Bunnyx]'s name has been changed to [Alice in Wonderland]**

**[Pegasus]'a name has been changed to [PegaSUS]**

**[Roi Singe]'s name has been changed to [Donkey Kong]**

**Ladybug:** Moldy Croissants

**Alice in Wonderland:** _yummy_

**Heather Chandler:** by Justin Bieber


	4. A/N

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have to ask y'all two hings

1\. What would you like to see next?

(A) Fluff  
(B) Identity shenanigans  
(C) more angst

2\. Would you you be okay with me me doing like real story writing or no? I mean the chats will still be the main focus but from time to time regular writing is sprinkled in.


	5. Ships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I need help again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm working on the next chapter I just get hit with waves of motivation then a new idea strikes and like I act upon in through another fic.
> 
> Also my cousins I haven't seen in a year are coming over and I have no idea how I'm gonna handle that.l because they'll be accompanied by their parents and my grandma outed me as trans to him, without my consent. I have no idea how he reacted or if he told the boys. So I might not be updating for a bit because my mental health went on a trip

Okay so I'm debating changing the main ship, Adrilukagaminette to Adrien/Chloé/Marinette(I don't know their ship name)

Because like I woke up again so like please help. I want good things for Chloé but like I had a whole semi functional plot with a few unknowns because I can't decide that will be decided apon through voting of my readers. But this plot is slowly falling apart through the power of sleep deprivation!

Oh and throwing Chloé in the mix of Adrilukagaminette is a option. Help

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys and thanks for your patience with the inconsistent and short updates I just like ahhhh my brain sucks. So um <3<3<3<3 love you


	6. Maribug and Adrichat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ships are made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blogger-Alya  
> Generally straved-Adrien  
> DadNo-Nino  
> Seamstress-Marinette  
> Not heterosexual sword lady-Kagami

**Tf is Adrienette**

**Adrien:** I bet you couldn't get people to think I'm dating chat Noir.

 **Mari:** wanna bet. Get people to think I'm dating Ladybug and I'll get people to think your dating Chat Noir. Who ever gets three people to believe it first. Ou chat is you can't outright say the other is or isn't dating their alter ego

**I would die for Marinette**

**Blogger:** #maribug is trending on Twitter, wtf

 **Generally starved:** that would be my doing

 **Not heterosexual sword lady:** it's Marinette x Ladybug, a ship or whatever you call ladynoir, I am not opposed I mean they are both attractive and fit black haired and blue eyed girls. My fantasy

 **Blogger:** I understand your name now

**Adrien is Sunshine**

**DadNo:** what the fuck is Adrichat?

 **Seamstress:** Adrichat is Adrien x Chat Noir. There are already a bunch of of sinful fics on Wattpad and AO3

 **Blogger:** what. the hell.

***

**Djwifi**

**Ladywifi:** Something is fishy with Marinette and Adrien

 **DJnino:** yeah, one minute they're ally cozy together the next Maribug and Adrichat are trending on Twitter while they avoid the other like the plague

**Tf is Adrienette**

**Mari** : pay up fucker people see you as a couple with yourself more than me

 **Adrien:** what makes you think that

 **Mari:** granted you have a lot of smut fics and I only have fluff you have a lot more fics then me even without the smut.

**Anxiety, Depression, and Mommy Issues the greatest trio**

**Mommy Issues:** I want in on whatever the fuck is happening??? I thought Adrien had a thing for Ladybug and now your tweeting about how wholesome and cute Marinette and Ladybug would be in a relationship with the custom tag #Maribug.

 **Anxiety:** I ship Adrichat, seen to many smut with feelings on AO3 not to also Adrien your one kinky bastard and a bottom.

 **Depression:** stfu.

**Crackheads of Paris**

**Leather Kink:** what do you think of Marinette Dupain-Cheng? I saw the Agreste boy's tweet and I have to agree my lady and my purrincess would be purrfect together.

 **Ladybug:** you called a civilian your princess, wtf?

 **Heather Chandler:** don't dodge the question LB, if you deflect we might start assuming things.

.

..

...

 **Ladybug:** fuck you. What do you think of purfume boy then Chat?


	7. Ladymouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette gets engaged to herself and unknowingly tells everyone who hawkmoth is at 3am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have made my decision, but romance isn't a focus rn

**Crackheads of Paris(3:15 AM)**

**Ladybug:** what of the two people I hated the most 1. Gabriel Agreste 2. Hawkmoth are the same person...

 **Ladybug:** but if that was the case then the guy would probably just want his wife back...what what of he has a basement coffin for his wife???

 **Ladybug:** Shitty dad + Magical girl terrorist = wife in basement coffin

 **Ladybug:** what if his wife used the peacock while broken and that's why she dissapeared because she died due to the Peacock draining her life..

 **Ladybug:** Wait, would that mean Nathalie is Mayura???

**7:35 A.M**

**Pete the Dragon:** I am concerned for your sleep schedule, mother always says to keep up a good sleep schedule.

 **Ladybug:** don't be I get roughly 9-12 hours in two weeks

 **Leather kink:** m'lady, that's the sleep you should get nightly..

 **Ladybug:** don't call me M'lady, I am engaged

 **Heather Chandler:** to who???

 **Furry in hiding:** Marinette probably

 **Ladybug:** no, I'm engaged to multimouse

~~~~~

Chloé was having the time of her life. Chloé being the not idiot she is has Ryuuko, Dupain-Cheng and Adrikins figured out. She's fucking cackling because this selfcest is worse than the fucking love square with yourself.

~~~~~

 **Heather Chandler:** yum.


	8. It tis the season for stress induced Akumas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~ Marks a transition between regular writing and the chats
> 
> <===> is a pov switch

**Insects.**

**Bee** **:** LB you good you seemed stressed at patrol

 **Ladybug:** not really, I have a kinda job..I help with the family business and it's really busy this time of year, I'm class president and we have a Christmas party coming up so I have to plan for that, and I have another kinda job though I don't get paid and I'm just making stuff for my friends. On top of that Akumas and other Ladybug duties are killing me. I could really use some fucking coffee

 **Bee:** Hon, you need a nap and less responsibility, your a fucking teenager like the rest of us.

 **Bee:** and you do realize you don't have to make shit for your friends, right? 

**Ladybug:** I know I don't have too but I want too..I feel this strange obligation too...

 **Bee:** Dupain-Cheng I will be coming over, you will take a nap.

 **Ladybug:** what? Dupain-Cheng as in baker girl you rant about? No. I'm not her. Impossible

 **Bee:** your a terrible liar. At least Lie-La has the decency to stay composed, I can feel the anxiety through the phone. How do you screw up lying over text?

 **Ladybug:** ouch.

~~~~~

Marinette looked over as the hatch to her room opened and Chloé came through. Chloé looked at her cup of coffee and sighed "no" she mumbled as she took the coffee cup. "Go change into something comfortable to sleep in but socially acceptable" Chloé demanded. Marinette quirked her eyebrow up and smirked "remember our lessons~" she teased, Marinette has been been teaching Chloé how to be kind(as Chloé so graciously asked before explaining she had no one to teach to be kind and nice to people because schools don't exactly teach you human skills.) One of the lessons being on not to demand things from others.

So the mayor's daughter sighed and with a glare at Marinette "please.." she said. Marinette smiled, Chloé's been trying to be a better person and she's made serious progress and Marinette is proud of the girl for making progress and genuinely trying. "Sure" Marinette tiredly but softly smiled at Chloé

Marinette put on dark gray sweatpants with two neon green paw prints on the right pocket and two neon green stripes going down the side. She also put on a black hoodie with all the superhero's miraculous animals.

"I said socially acceptable" "practically everyone teen girl in Paris aside from the lesbians are swooning for Chat Noir. And how is a animal hoodie not Socially acceptable?" Marinette retorted. "Just get in the bed" the blonde said "gee take me on a date first" the ravenette stated with a smirk. But alas Marinette complied.

<===>

Chloé sat at the foot of the bed as she watched her crush for years fall asleep, it was a weird feeling. She thought she was over this crush but apparently she wasn't

How could she be when Marinette's overwhelming kindness is everywhere, when she has that annoyingly perfect smile, when she has that cute light dusting of freckles on her nose, or when she was in the process of making a Honey Bee sweater as she walked in.

Chloé had the urge to hold the sleeping ravenette, so she did. She took off her shoes and crawled next to the Baker's daughter as she wrapped her arm around her..bugs to go into hibernation this time of year so she's just being a good bug buddie and providing warmth, right?

*** 

<===>

Marinette awoke to find a sleeping and when she found Chloé entangled with her she blushed. She didn't know why, she wasn't into girls and Chloé was her childhood bully. She then remembered what woke her.

The ding for her superhero phone

~~~~~

**More Expresso less Depresso**

**Furry:** akuma at the park

 **Ladybug:** mother fucker I was finally getting some sleep until this bitch showed up

~~~~~

"Chlo, wake up" Marinette said to the sleepy Mayor's daughter. She stirred and sat up, "why?" She asked and with a sigh Marinette replied "Akuma"

***

"Why the hell was that so hard!" Chat exclaimed, "don't underestimate the power of moms fueled by stress and Coffee" Marinette said "anyways bug out"

~~~~~

 **Ladybug:** do you guys want macaroons or croissants on patrol?

 **Furry:** why?

 **Ladybug:** Chat's dad is a asshole so I feed him but I'd feel bad if I didn't bring you guys stuff also

 **Punz with Bunz:** I get fed I swear, it's just limited amounts and gross gourmet.

 **Ladybug:** fucking hate that bastard.

 **Chlorine:** he goes on the list just under Uncle Gabriel and Hawkass.

 **Irrelevant:** dude sounds like my bro's dad, I hate him.

 **Furry:** sunshine protection.

 **Ladybug:** sunshine protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I feel like I've been focusing to much on Marinette
> 
> Also me: making Chloé and Marinette bonding time


	9. Christmas Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette gives miraculous team gifts, they wear them to a hangout session
> 
> Identity reveal insues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I live!

Marinette had spent two months making special miraculous team clothes for her team and their respective holders. Marinette will be giving Luka, Kagami, Kim and Max theirs in person as they're temporary holders but it's fine. 

~~~~~

**[Ladybug]'s name has been changed to [Santa]**

**Santa:** me and Santa are the same. We both wear red, we steal food, we break into homes, and give nice children gifts while we break naughty boi's and and gorl's noses with coal.

 **Chlorine:** I- Lb...

 **Santa:** call me Santa bitch. Ho. Ho. Motherfucking. Ho.

 **Furry:** I don't want my nose broken-

~~~~~

She smiled down at her phone as she shut her screen off and put her phone under her pillow

"Tikki Spots on!"

***

"Merry Christmas eve m'lady, OOOO GIFTS!" Chat said "Merry Christmas eve team, before patrol I uhhh ma-GOT! You guys these gifts" she extended the wrapped clothes "considering we won't see each other until after Christmas unless there's a Akuma you can open the now" 

Chloé and Chat snickered, probably at how she almost let it slip she makes clothes...fucking bitches, she did put coal with their gift for a reason.

As they opened it they revealed clothes themed after their superhero selves.

Alya got a Orange sweater with a fuzzy inside with a white front to mimic the belly of her her suit along with a Orange skirt that fades to a white complete with black socks and gloves

Adrien has a black Hoodie with two neon green stripes across the chest three green paw prints on his left shoulder and two green stripes going down from his shoulder to cuffs of his right sleeve. He got matching black sports shorts with neon green seams, with two peices of coal

Nino got a green hoodie with the same pattern as his hero self

Chloé got a yellow and Black striped shirt, a white jacket, and a black skirt with pointy ends to mimic stingers...she also got coal

"Why do I have coal?" Questioned both Adrien and Chloé

***

It's Christmas and Marinette was late for a hangout with friends, people traditionally spend time with their families but hah like Adrien and Chloé's parents would do that, and Marinette, Alya, and Nino's parents are busy so holiday hangout session.

"Sorry I'm late..." she trailed off as soon she saw the rest of the group exchanging awkward glances slightly All. In. There. Presents. From her alter ego

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING DUMBASS DO YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF INTEGRITY YOU STUPID SHITS I OUGHT TO GROW A DICK SO YOU CAN KICK ME IN THE BALLS!" Yelled Marinette "what? Asked Alya and Nino throughly confused. With a angered sigh "did I or did I not tell you to not wear these in civilian form? I did right? I DID! But what did you fucking do!? You did it!" She ranted "because what? You didn't think we'd know each other? Do you think I go around like 'hi random civilian, here's a miraculous!' I don't!" The ravenette pinched the bridge of her nose "you know what, fine, I'm sorry I blew like that..." she looked at her friends and saw realization strike "Your..." they said "mhm, guess we'd have to reveal identities someday" she sighed "I both love and hate you idiotic asshats" she smiled softly at her friends and takes her seat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry late Christmas
> 
> I also headcanon potty mouth tired Marinette


	10. Sandboy 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Sandboy 2.0 happened their nightmares were a bit different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've has to much happy vibes, angsty hours my friends >:)

**More Expresso Less Depresso**

**Santa:** hey my friends! My pals! My great companions!

 **Punz with Bunz:** your not getting out of this LB

 **Furry:** bitch explain the white alley cat

 **Santa:** Chaton's nightmare was a Akuma version of me last time

 **Puz with Bunz:** I didn't have a panic attack muttering 'not again' 

**Chlorine:** listen, you might not want to but tell us please, that was scary as shit to see as well as watch you react that way

 **Irrelevant:** Dudette I may be a meat shield but I still care.

 **Santa:** Chat got Akumatized...well he didn't but he did, it- it's hard to explain 

**Santa:** y'know how the miraculous cure doesn't work on me? Yeah so when I used it I didn't forget a broken timeline where Chat Noir was Char Blanc and paris was underwater, the moon was destroyed, everyone was dead, and it was my fault...hahaha the details aren't important.

 **Chlorine:** what the fuck?

 **Furry:** I- my bby? Are you okay?

 **Punz with Bunz:** fuck, I'm so sorry

 **Irrelevant:** How do I respond to that???

 **Santa:** lol I'm fine prolly just gonna have a nightmare bout' it again

 **Irrelevant:** again???

 **Santa:** everytime I fell asleep after it happened I had a nightmare, they stopped but like just relived the whole thing in some weird panic sooooo

 **Furry:** all in favor of breaking into her house and let cuddling commence.

 **Santa:** no one gonna talk bout' hoe Chat's nightmare is being locked up and how Clorox's nightmare was her mom poking at her insecurities??? That seems more important then my

 **Santa:** minor ✨ T R U M A ✨

 **Irrelevant:** hahaha, minor?

 **Chlorine:** I have this odd feeling that our pastry source is downplaying it because she doesn't want to burden anyone

 **Santa:** no.

 **Punz with Bunz:** that no was a lil' to quick my friend

 **Santa:** no- look guys I'm fine, are you guys good though? Like you had to face your worst nightmare too.

 **Chlorine:** my mom does that shit everyday, there's a reason my name is Mommy issues in our mental breakdown chat

 **Santa:** Anxiety!

 **Punz with Bunz:** Depression!

 **Chlorine:** Mommy issues!

 **Santa:** The greatest Trio 

**Punz with Bunz:** The greatest Trio

 **Chlorine:** The greatest Trio

 **Furry:** Babe, remind me to get our children therapy

 **Irrelevant:** K babe

 **Irrelevant:** I'm chill, I've watched Rena die before

 **Furry:** I- I'm fine lmao my nightmare was just weird af

 **Punz with Bunz:** I'm doing good, I'm practically stuck most of the time anyway...haha

 **Santa:** if my Gabriel is hawkmoth theory is right, I get first punch, mkay?

 **Chlorine:** I call second

 **Furry:** okay, we're coming over regardless of what you say if only to comfort our resident rich kids


	11. I Do This Bullshit like 8 times a week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chat is up to his usual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in like two months- I'm sorry, my motivation and mental health took a vacation, butttt I'm here, I'm queer, and live in existential fear.
> 
> Anyway I'm experimenting with format so tell me if you prefer it how it was or if you like this. Also Alya and Nino's names in the gc changed off screen because I was bored but I didn't want to write the scenario in my head that produced these names.

**( More Expresso Less Depresso)**

**THURSDAY** _3:47_ **A.M**

**[More Expresso Less Depresso] has been changed to [Raging Homiesexuals]**

**[Punz with Bunz]'s name has been changed to [Cronos Number XIII]**

**Santa:** ewwww Black Cat isn't a good Anime

 **Cronos Number XIII: **at least I didn't think Light was hot the first time I watched death note!

**[Santa]'s name has been changed to [Misa]**

**Misa:** fuck you

 **Cronos Number XIII: **please

 **Chlorine:** ew don't be horny in gc, no matter how hot you two are so dms.

 **Chlorine:** also- go to sleep

 **Misa:** no <3

 **FoxyMama:** Akuma at Eiffel tower, also LB.

 **Misa:** What??

 **FoxyMama:** Go to sleep after we defeat this Akuma.

~~~~~

 **Misa:** tf...why is this hoe so hard???

 **Cronos Number XIII : **haha sleep deprivation go brr

Expresso: how are you not asleep or at least delusional.

LB: bold of you to assume I sleep enough in my real life, your powers probably worked, I just can't tell the difference at this point.

**( Raging Homiesexuals)**

**THURSDAY** _7:15_ **P.M**

**Misa:** soo ummmm I broke down sobbing at a shitpost on tumblr...wtf is wrong with me...

 **MommyKink:** that's the sleep deprivation sweetheart...

 **FoxyMama:** and why are you using the hero chat??? Why do we even frequent this chat more then our civilian chat?

Also LB I stg I will physically fight you if you don't self care 😤

 **Misa:** but I don't have the time-

I take showers and eat..most of the time, I also sleep..kinda.

 **Chlorine:** All in favor of making LB take on less work and sleep say I

I

 **FoxyMama:** I

 **MommyKink:** I

 **Cronos Number XIII** **:** I

 **Misa:** Bitch- 

Why would you say that

How could you do this to me

You better not actually show up on my balcony and force me to sleep..

 **Chlorine:** we will :)

 **MommyKink:** Yeah we will :)

 **Misa:** I- while your at it Give our BEEutiful bitch and Home bound alley cat a lecture on self love.


	12. Mari the disaster pan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mari is a disaster pansexual and Chloé is a disaster Bi, that's it.

**(Raging** **Homiesexuals)**

**MONDAY** _3:54_ **A.M**

**Misa** **:** Everybody talks is a bop

 **FoxyMama** **:** sleep!

 **Chlorine** **:** I'm more of a sweater weather kinda gal but yeah Ig it's okay.

**( Raging Homiesexuals)**

**MONDAY** _9:15_ **A.M**

 **MommyKink** **:** I'm WHEEZEING omg Mari wtf!

 **Misa : **???

 **Chronos Number XIII** **:** yes, join the Darkside

_*mariFingerGunningGrinningAtABlushingChloe.png*_

I can't believe you bee punned, finger gunned, and called Chloé cute I'm dying!

 **Chlorine** **:** I think I've just become slightly gayer, damn LB, you did the impossible

 **FoxyMama** **:** this has added 10 years to my life, ty <3

 **Misa** **:** I'm confused as to why it's such a big deal Honey is stunning, and finger guns are a perfectly normal thing.

**(Insects.)**

**MONDAY** _9:00_ **A.M**

**Bug** **:** you not thinking your pretty is a sin. A SIN. you absolutely stunning, cute, kind, perfect, caring, beautiful, cute, gorgeous, amazing bitch, I will FIGHT you if you think otherwise. I WILL STEAL KNEECAPS OF WHOEVER TELLS YOU OTHERWISE!!! I will break their nico nico necks!!

 **Bee : **Omg LB no! O////O stop!

 **Bug** : no <3

**(Anxiety, Depression, and Mommy Issues the greatest trio)**

**Tuesday** _2:09_ **A.M**

**Anxiety** **:** not to be slut but I really wanna cuddle AND HOLD HANDS <3 :)

 **Mommy Issues** **:** omg- I AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **Depression** **:** Omg LB that's so risky like omg you whore

I'm down <3

 **Mommy Issues** **:** AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *BREATH* AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

sure <3


End file.
